On Monday night I drove all the way to Montclair with a good friend for a “Best Year Ever” event with Laura Berman Fortgang. Laura is a wonderfully entertaining and interesting speaker and a very experienced life coach and author.

I have seen her before which is part of the reason I made the time to go to this event. Plus, I was hoping it will help me in someway have my best year ever.

She gave the following statistics:

23% have already given up on their new year resolutions after the first week

45% have given up by the end of the month.

(Why do we think making these new year resolutions is going to work for us? What are we doing to make it different / possible? How are we getting the support we need to make these changes?)

I have been feeling guilty and behind because I have not decided on or created my theme for 2010 nor, really set any definitive goals (besides getting up earlier each day and journaling consistently).

Laura Fortgang said the first step before creating goals and resolutions is to clear out the clutter – both mentally and physically.

You must make room for your new “stuff”. If you do this first, the it will be easier to clearly see what you want and accomplish it.

(This made me feel better about not having my theme and goals for the new year.)

If you have too much stuff (clutter, fear, negativity) in the way then the “good” stuff you want has a harder time of finding you. You want to first create the ideal landscape so your dreams can come true. Create the setting and they will come.

One of the questions she posed to us was:

1. What am I putting up with?
(I call this, What am I tolerating? What is bothering me?)

We all tolerate and put up with a lot! We put up with, take on, and are dragged down by people’s behaviors, situations, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, incompletions, frustrations, and even our own behavior.

You are tolerating more than you think.

What are you tolerating?

A messy closet, a cramped office, a negative friend, a limiting belief, outrageous rent…??? Pretty much anything that causes you to experience a depletion of your sense of self or your natural energy is a toleration.

Becoming aware of and articulating your tolerations is key to improving your life and freeing you up to do what you want to do.

Make a list of 15-20 things you are tolerating in your life. If you change your energy, you will change your habits which will change your results.

Just the act of writing some of these tolerations down creates insight or provokes instant action on many of them.

Make your list and see what action you can take or want to take to help you
stop putting up with certain things in your life and get what you really want.

P.S. Above is a picture of my niece. Her expression to me is pure joy.