One of my favorite life coaches and authors is Martha Beck. I read about this on her blog and wanted to share it here. So far, from what I have read, it seems very cool.

“What Matters Now” is a free e-book filled with 71 wonderful one-page essays on various interesting topics such as: Ease by Elizabeth Gilbert and Excellence by Tom Peters and one of my favorite topics — how you recognize enough.

So download a free copy at this link

It is free. (You don’t even have to give your e mail address or ANY personal information to get it.)

I hope you read it and enjoy it and share it with others.

I hope it makes you think about what matters now — for you.

What I loved about yesterday was going to lunch with a good friend and then seeing “Blind Side.” This was a feel good movie that really made me cry.

I went and did something I had never done before. It was something I had secretly wanted to do and never vocalized to anyone that I was interested in. This was exciting!

Through an unexected series of events, this incredible and unique opportunity fell into my lap. It seemed like a miracle from the universe for this to be happening and that I got to try something new. Reinforcing that wishes do come true.

I was excited about it and looking forward to it…

It was a complete disaster.

I made a total fool of myself in front of so many people and embarrassed myself in front of my new husband. I think one of the worst parts was feeling like he was embarrassed by me. I felt like I looked stupid and did a horrible job. What a yucky horrible feeling.

I am not one who does well with failure.

I would rather keep myself safe than risk making a fool of myself or of failing. I don’t think this is a positive trait but it is something I know and would like to change about myself.

I was very upset with how I did. I know in hindsight there were many things I could have done differently. I am trying to let it go.

In the grand scheme of things nothing has changed. Those who loved me and knew me before, still love me now. No permanent damage done. Who cares that I failed? (Unfortunately, I do.)

I think because it is something I wanted so much and was so excited about, it felt that much worse.

I can make excuses…I had never done this before…It was not as planned…blah blah blah but I am still amazed at how upset I was that I had done so poorly.

On the positive side, I had some fun and got to try something new. I am proud of myself for going outside my comfort zone and trying it.

I need to remember “Nothing ventured nothing gained.”

I am trying to learn the lesson of letting go of my embarrassment and still be willing to fail which is a very important lesson for me.

I hope someday I will be able to laugh at what happened.

For now I am still trying to figure out why is doing well (being perfect) so important to me?
What am I afraid of?

P.S. This took place a while ago but it has taken me this long to finally digest and process and be able to write about it and yes, I am purposely keeping the specifics vague.

If you remember, here are some of the goals I set for myself for the last quarter of 2009:

1) Try yoga = grade B
I have tried it but I am not loving it. I am glad I tried it but due to my lack of enthusiasm (and travel) I have now missed 3 classes. I will go to one more class but we are approaching the end. Part of me is disappointed I did not like it more. I wonder if it is because the class is too long for me (90 minutes). I am proud of myself for trying something new.

2) Find a new coach = grade B
I found a new coach and have started working with her. I am taking December off because I needed a break and I am feeling overwhelmed. I am not making the progress with my coach that I had hoped to. So what do I do with that information??? I am going to just “be” this month and see how I feel and decide what I want to do over the next few weeks.

3) Organize our joint finances and set financial goals for me and my new husband = grade C
I signed up for Mint.com and have a joint bank account with my husband. I have not been tracking our expenses nor moved forward with doing our financial plan. I want to find out if you can manually add entries in Mint but I have not made the effort to do this.

4) Improve my posture = grade B
I have just started to see a chiropractor. I am hoping this will help improve my posture AND help with my all too common and annoying headaches.

5) Post to my blog 2-3 times per week = grade D
As you can see, I have not been posting 2-3 times per week but I have been posting about once per week.

What I loved about yesterday was the wonderful dinner I had with my honey. I was needing some quality alone time with him and I thoroughly enjoyed our time together and our discussions of some sensitive / emotionally charged topics.