I loved this post so much I had to share it.
Thanks Sizzle!

http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2010/02/09/birthday-wish-for-you/

“Dear Friend,

Today is your birthday.

If I could give you anything in the entire Universe it would be self-love. Not money. Not a trip to anywhere your heart desires. Not anything materialistic and fleeting. Just love. Just the love you seek outside of yourself that, if you looked, you’d realize is right inside your very own heart.

You are a good person. A warm, generous, loving, forgiving, funny, smart, creative, and sensitive soul. You deserve to be happy. You don’t have to do anything extraordinary or be anything but yourself to deserve it. I see you settle for less over and over again. I see you take the blame, beating yourself up, feeling like a failure. You wallow in that bad place. You try to be everything to everyone but you never feel like enough. I want to tell you: You don’t have to live there, in the darkness and in pain. Where is the light? It is in you. It is yours to shine, my friend. First we have to learn to be enough for ourselves and then we can give from that place to others. If we don’t know how to fill ourselves up, we’ll always feel depleted, running on empty. I wish for you fullness and happiness from a bottomless well inside you.

Look inside.

I wish for you, on your birthday, courage. To love yourself best and to know intrinsically that you are worthy of it. I promise you, it will make all the difference.

Be brave and know you are loved,

Sizz”

I know I have not posted in a while and this is about all I can handle right now so please forgive me. I hope to get back in the groove soon.

This is another question that Laura Berman Fortgang asked at her “Best Year Ever” event.

Pretend someone comes and takes away every single aspect of your life.

What is the first aspect of your life that you want back?
(You have your body and your innate abilities. It is asking how you want to spend your time or the people and relationships that you are requesting back.)

Once you get that first aspect back what would you request next?

You are allowed to ask for only 5 aspects of your life back.

I thought this was an interesting exercise to think about what you want and what is important to you.

Here is what ended up on my list:
1. My husband and my relationship with him
2. My workouts
3. My family and spending time with them
4. Reading books and learning
5. A meaningful and successful job

Next, look at how you spend your time.

Is your time aligned with these priorities?
The more aligned your time is with these aspects of your life, probably the happier you are.

What was interesting for me was that I wondered if my husband felt like he was my highest priority.

I was surprised at how high my workouts were on my list yet I know that they help keep me sane and healthy and feeling good.

If I want to be more successful at my work maybe it needs to move up in my priorities? It gave me something to think about.

Also, friends were not on my list yet I know they are extremely important to me. So where would they fit?

I may rearrange the order of my life priorities but I felt pretty good about how aligned they were with what I want.

P.S. You can see the similarities to the Happy Post from last week.

I saw this on a couple of people’s blogs and decided to join in…

Here is my list of 10 Things that make me happy (in no particular order)

1. My husband - who is so sweet and treats me so well. He truly is my best friend. I love our talks and time together. I miss him when I don’t get to spend enough time with him.

2. My family - I truly have the greatest family in the world and wish I got to see and talk to everyone more often. I am enjoying our new venture on myfamily.com to stay in better contact.

3. My workouts - They keep me sane and healthy and help me to better enjoy my life.

4. Driving my convertible with the top down - I say this way too much but it does make me so happy. I love wind and speed.

5. Soft luxury sheets - I saw this on Roxie’s blog and it is so true for me. I am glad she reminded me though.

6. Just sitting and talking with my friends - This is usually one-on-one or in a very small group. I can do this all d*** day with those I click with and it is truly an awesome day.

7. Being outside as much as possible I love to hike and see nature. I like to eat outside as much as possible.

8. Reading – I am surprised this did not pop into my head earlier on the list. I don’t think I could live without books and reading. Reading is my escape and is one of my favorite things to do. Once again, I could do this ALL day (and sometimes do on vacation).

9. Getting a Massage

10. Listening to and enjoying music I love – This can change my mood in a heartbeat.

11. Living in Princeton and all that provides to me, especially within walking distance

I feel like I could keep going…
eating a super yummy meal…sleeping in late…traveling to new places…strong water pressure…beautiful sunsets…being at the beach…lovely supportive notes from my husband

I have done this exercise with many life coaching clients although I usually request they do a top 25 list. To me the amazing thing is how many of these things do not cost much or anything, and make me so happy.

Here are the are instructions that come along with this:
1. Copy the image and display it on your blog.
2. List 10 things that make you happy.
3. Try to do at least one of them today.
4. Pass on the award to 10 (+/-) bloggers or friends who brighten your day.

On Monday night I drove all the way to Montclair with a good friend for a “Best Year Ever” event with Laura Berman Fortgang. Laura is a wonderfully entertaining and interesting speaker and a very experienced life coach and author.

I have seen her before which is part of the reason I made the time to go to this event. Plus, I was hoping it will help me in someway have my best year ever.

She gave the following statistics:

23% have already given up on their new year resolutions after the first week

45% have given up by the end of the month.

(Why do we think making these new year resolutions is going to work for us? What are we doing to make it different / possible? How are we getting the support we need to make these changes?)

I have been feeling guilty and behind because I have not decided on or created my theme for 2010 nor, really set any definitive goals (besides getting up earlier each day and journaling consistently).

Laura Fortgang said the first step before creating goals and resolutions is to clear out the clutter – both mentally and physically.

You must make room for your new “stuff”. If you do this first, the it will be easier to clearly see what you want and accomplish it.

(This made me feel better about not having my theme and goals for the new year.)

If you have too much stuff (clutter, fear, negativity) in the way then the “good” stuff you want has a harder time of finding you. You want to first create the ideal landscape so your dreams can come true. Create the setting and they will come.

One of the questions she posed to us was:

1. What am I putting up with?
(I call this, What am I tolerating? What is bothering me?)

We all tolerate and put up with a lot! We put up with, take on, and are dragged down by people’s behaviors, situations, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, incompletions, frustrations, and even our own behavior.

You are tolerating more than you think.

What are you tolerating?

A messy closet, a cramped office, a negative friend, a limiting belief, outrageous rent…??? Pretty much anything that causes you to experience a depletion of your sense of self or your natural energy is a toleration.

Becoming aware of and articulating your tolerations is key to improving your life and freeing you up to do what you want to do.

Make a list of 15-20 things you are tolerating in your life. If you change your energy, you will change your habits which will change your results.

Just the act of writing some of these tolerations down creates insight or provokes instant action on many of them.

Make your list and see what action you can take or want to take to help you
stop putting up with certain things in your life and get what you really want.

P.S. Above is a picture of my niece. Her expression to me is pure joy.

Here is a post that I liked and caught my eye since it is related to the idea of creating your theme for 2010.

Enjoy!

http://beth.typepad.com/beths_blog/2010/01/my-three-words-for-2010.html

I love this quote:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~Maryanne Williamson

Are you tired of having the same New Year’s Resolutions year after year?

Laura Burkey, a Master Coach I worked with as a client (and think very highly of), introduced me and others to this idea and the process of setting themes instead of resolutions.

What would you do to make 2010 your best year ever?

I have set a Personal Living Theme for the past few years. I have enjoyed the difference of having a theme for the year instead of resolutions. It has been interesting to see the ways the theme has manifested itself in my life.

I love that there is no “failing” with a theme.

What is a Living Theme?
A living theme is a more powerful and engaging way to set off your new year than the old usual resolutions.

Have you ever noticed that resolution broken down means to re-solve?

Laura Burkey, a Master Coach, decided on setting themes instead of resolutions back in 1996 after years of starting each year with the same darn resolutions. She thought it was depressing and embarrassing to begin each year with the same resolutions…and having just begun her career as a coach…it was imperative to her that she be a model for getting positive results as consistently as possible. So, she shook the resolution thing up a bit.

I am posting this message in hopes of sharing this New Year’s tradition with you. (Thanks to Laura Burkey for sharing her theme concept and process with me.)

Here are my themes for the past 3 years:

In 2006 my theme was “Dare to Love!” I was excited about this theme. It was about LOVING with capital letters my life and what I was doing. The tag lines for this theme changed often. Some examples were: love myself, love my job, love those around me, love and appreciate the rough times and what they teach me, love my family and friends. This theme was about making a conscious decision not to settle for things I do not love and recognize and appreciate those that I do. This theme helped me in making decisions both big and small and raised my awareness in a positive way towards who I am and what I love.

In 2007 my theme was “The Year of New Beginnings.” The origin of this theme came from a statue of the Spring Goddess, or the Goddess of New Beginnings that my sister gave me. I was not sure where or how this theme would manifest itself (or where it came from after all the many changes of the past three years) but I wanted to be open and ready to making significant changes in my life. It truly was a year of new beginnings and growth! A few of the bigger beginnings were: starting several different jobs, creating Kinetic Life Coaching, LLC, moving into a house with my boyfriend, working with a new coach, meditating, and making new friends. I had more beginnings than I could ever have imagined and in areas I never even dreamed of. To me that is the beauty of a theme.

In 2008 my theme was “Break on Thru.” With this theme I was calling myself out of my comfort zone. This past year I signed up for a super expensive platinum coaching program which still makes me gulp when I think about what I have committed to. I got my life coaching website up (www.kineticlifecoaching.com) with a free report and became an equity partner in Main Street Financial Solutions, LLC (www.msfsolutions.com). I also consistently wrote in my journal which as a first for me.

This theme also reminds me of a powerful belief that “you cannot fail, there is only feedback.” My theme reminded me that I needed to be willing to do new or different things to “break thru” and get more information about myself and the world around me. If you keep doing what you have always done, you will keep getting what you always got.

In 2009 my theme was “Sparkling, Shining and Standing Out.” Which manifested itself with a gorgeous engagement ring, a beautiful wedding, starting my blog, speaking engagements, and my first tele-class. But most importantly I have been feeling happier and shining more often.

Creating a Theme may not be for everyone…or for you, ‘right now’. It’s just something I have enjoyed doing and would like to invite you to try it if you feel inspired by the concept.

Eliciting THE MOST relevant and powerful living theme takes time and thought.

Here are some simple steps to help you to find that perfect theme for you in 2010.

1. Start thinking of words, phrases or concepts that have a certain appeal or ‘spark’ to you when you think and say them to yourself. Consider words and phrases that you find would be relevant and inspirational to all areas of your life: personal, professional, spiritual, family, financial….

2. Look for inspirational quotes that (at this particular time) really speak to you.
(I like the website, thinkexist.com for finding quotes.)

3. Think about what you hope to attain or achieve by the end of 2010 as a result of your theme.

My strong recommendation is that you think in intangibles…consider feelings, senses, and beliefs you hope to experience vs. things you hope to have/possess.
(some examples of intangibles: “More Courage to do what I want”, “Confidence in myself”, “Love for myself and others”, “Being Present and/or Feeling Grateful”)

Your theme should become like a mantra for you.

It should inspire you and help you focus on who you want to be.

I am still pondering various themes for my 2010. I will share more in the next few weeks. It can take some time to come up with your theme so be patient. Also don’t be afraid to change your theme. Try some different themes on and see how they feel. You will know the right theme when you find it.

I would love to hear your themes / quotes / ideas that you like and are considering.

One of my favorite life coaches and authors is Martha Beck. I read about this on her blog and wanted to share it here. So far, from what I have read, it seems very cool.

“What Matters Now” is a free e-book filled with 71 wonderful one-page essays on various interesting topics such as: Ease by Elizabeth Gilbert and Excellence by Tom Peters and one of my favorite topics — how you recognize enough.

So download a free copy at this link

It is free. (You don’t even have to give your e mail address or ANY personal information to get it.)

I hope you read it and enjoy it and share it with others.

I hope it makes you think about what matters now — for you.

What I loved about yesterday was going to lunch with a good friend and then seeing “Blind Side.” This was a feel good movie that really made me cry.

I went and did something I had never done before. It was something I had secretly wanted to do and never vocalized to anyone that I was interested in. This was exciting!

Through an unexected series of events, this incredible and unique opportunity fell into my lap. It seemed like a miracle from the universe for this to be happening and that I got to try something new. Reinforcing that wishes do come true.

I was excited about it and looking forward to it…

It was a complete disaster.

I made a total fool of myself in front of so many people and embarrassed myself in front of my new husband. I think one of the worst parts was feeling like he was embarrassed by me. I felt like I looked stupid and did a horrible job. What a yucky horrible feeling.

I am not one who does well with failure.

I would rather keep myself safe than risk making a fool of myself or of failing. I don’t think this is a positive trait but it is something I know and would like to change about myself.

I was very upset with how I did. I know in hindsight there were many things I could have done differently. I am trying to let it go.

In the grand scheme of things nothing has changed. Those who loved me and knew me before, still love me now. No permanent damage done. Who cares that I failed? (Unfortunately, I do.)

I think because it is something I wanted so much and was so excited about, it felt that much worse.

I can make excuses…I had never done this before…It was not as planned…blah blah blah but I am still amazed at how upset I was that I had done so poorly.

On the positive side, I had some fun and got to try something new. I am proud of myself for going outside my comfort zone and trying it.

I need to remember “Nothing ventured nothing gained.”

I am trying to learn the lesson of letting go of my embarrassment and still be willing to fail which is a very important lesson for me.

I hope someday I will be able to laugh at what happened.

For now I am still trying to figure out why is doing well (being perfect) so important to me?
What am I afraid of?

P.S. This took place a while ago but it has taken me this long to finally digest and process and be able to write about it and yes, I am purposely keeping the specifics vague.

If you remember, here are some of the goals I set for myself for the last quarter of 2009:

1) Try yoga = grade B
I have tried it but I am not loving it. I am glad I tried it but due to my lack of enthusiasm (and travel) I have now missed 3 classes. I will go to one more class but we are approaching the end. Part of me is disappointed I did not like it more. I wonder if it is because the class is too long for me (90 minutes). I am proud of myself for trying something new.

2) Find a new coach = grade B
I found a new coach and have started working with her. I am taking December off because I needed a break and I am feeling overwhelmed. I am not making the progress with my coach that I had hoped to. So what do I do with that information??? I am going to just “be” this month and see how I feel and decide what I want to do over the next few weeks.

3) Organize our joint finances and set financial goals for me and my new husband = grade C
I signed up for Mint.com and have a joint bank account with my husband. I have not been tracking our expenses nor moved forward with doing our financial plan. I want to find out if you can manually add entries in Mint but I have not made the effort to do this.

4) Improve my posture = grade B
I have just started to see a chiropractor. I am hoping this will help improve my posture AND help with my all too common and annoying headaches.

5) Post to my blog 2-3 times per week = grade D
As you can see, I have not been posting 2-3 times per week but I have been posting about once per week.

What I loved about yesterday was the wonderful dinner I had with my honey. I was needing some quality alone time with him and I thoroughly enjoyed our time together and our discussions of some sensitive / emotionally charged topics.